Exit 151 or 161 Montclair/Paramus Jesus

OK. I’ve given up on the Family Christian Bookstore. From here on, it’s Urban Outfitters to get my Jesus-fix. And lucky me, here in North Jersey I can chose locations: Paramus or Montclair (though the Montclair location has far more Jesus-stuff).

While the Family Christian Bookstore stocks WWJD bracelets and bumper stickers which leaves the ultimate question unanswered, over at UO, the Answer Me Jesus takes out all the guesswork. It’s the same principle as the on the old Magic 8 Ball concept…. you think of a question, turn it over and an answer appears in some mysterious blue liquid in triangle form.

An inscription on the box read: Not intended for use by the closed-minded.

I couldn’t resist. I have an open-mind and I do have questions for Jesus and hey, why wait until the BIG DAY when I could get immediate gratification? Well I have to admit, I really didn’t have a question but I turned the pink statue over anyway and the triangle in the blue murk read, “I died for this?” And I almost died laughing.

And then I saw the warning label:

WARNING:

HOLY SPIRIT NOT INCLUDED

Mark 8:12

He sighed deeply and said, "Why does this generation ask for a miraculous sign? I tell you the truth, no sign will be given to it."

Exit 105 Long Branch Jesus

Long Branch became the nations first seaside resort way back in the 1700s and was the original Hollywood, that is until the other Hollywood on the West Coast took the movie industry by storm.

Popular with dead presidents: Chester A. Arthur, James A. Garfield, Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Harrison, Rutherford B. Hayes, William McKinley, and Woodrow Wilson, the city has brushed off it "old" image and now attracts an affluent set of folk.

Who would have thought a drive down the Garden State Parkway to beautiful-and now very trendy-Long Branch would bring out so many Jesus inspired car stickers? My trek began in the parking lot at Kohl’s where low and behold adjacent cars had the following stickers:

And as I pulled out of the lot, the car ahead of me had a NJ plate which read, "JC Lord" but I couldn’t whip out my camera in time to take the shot.

Arriving at Pier Village, to my delight there was street parking and oh lookie, lots of Jesus bumper stickers too!


After strolling the promenade and window shopping all the chic bar-restaurants, I treated myself to a gelato, imagining I was in Venice. But alias, no trip to Long Branch would be complete without a stop at Max’s – which serves up the dangest, biggest hot dogs on the planet. I pulled into Max’s lot and glory be…more Jesus bumper stickers than you’d find in the SixFlags parking lot for a Toby Mac concert!

Then it was time to head back North, where yes, I was indeed cut off several times by some crazy New York drivers who obviously didn't understand the concept of turn signals. After a few miles, I thought I found my soul mate:




After several thoughts of giving the NJ one-figure-salute to the last jerk who cut me off, a car pulled up to me with this in the side window:

I took the hint and kept both hands on the steering wheel.

Proverbs 10: A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.

　

Exit 63 Route 80 Lodi Jesus

Lodi is named for the Bridge of Lodi in Italy where Napoleon once gained fame shouting "Vive la République!" In New Jersey though this Lodi is home to the Dangling Jesus, the Jesus that dangles from the neck of one Jan-Michael. Wherever Jan-Michael goes so goes Jesus. Whether it’s work, church or Club Rise, if Jan-Michael is there, so is the ever-present Jesus around his neck.

I’m partial to his Jesus over the skull T-shirt look myself. After all, Jesus conquered death at the place called, "The Skull." I realize most Protestants do not have the image of Jesus on their crosses but I think we all got one big wake-up call to Christ’s physical sufferings when The Passion hit the big screen.

Now Jan-Michael is one of the few people I know with the ability to speak truth in love and I do believe it does have something to do with that ever-present Jesus around his neck.

While at Club Rise, I was telling him the story of when I was at Jersey Boys Bagels in Morristown and a very uppity-White-blonde-professional woman strutted in with child in tow (like a brief case or Coach bag). She barked her bagel order (which was very specific: everything bagel, cut in even quarters, dab of low-fat chive cream cheese, only a dab…and on it went with five other types of bagels and spreads). Then she made the high school bagel boy repeat her entire order back to her- "Now repeat what I said in my exact words, and I mean exact." High school bagel boy obliged, I could tell he’s been through the routine before. When she was satisfied with his response, she place her credit card in her child’s hand and said, "Here, make sure the order is correct before you pay him," then she walked out back to her illegally parked Lexus. When the order was complete (and inspected), the child handed over the credit card. Bagel Boy swiped it twice; twice it was declined. A smirk washed over my face as the child stood there with the bagel order and declined card. I was almost, and I mean almost tempted to pay for the order but I was way too gleeful that her card was declined. I’m sure her annual income was 5x that of my own. Minutes later, mommy dearest returned in the I’ve-been-waiting-too-long rage. She huffed and puffed, made quite a scene and pulled out another card.

As I was telling this story to Jan-Michael with that Jesus around his neck, I began to feel like a real jerk. The joy of telling the story of rich woman’s embarrassment in a bagel shop quickly left me. Dang that dangling Jesus! Dang that Jan-Michael who could nail me with conviction. I should have shown a little Christian compassion and paid for those bagels before the mother returned. Stupid me.

Colossians 3:12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Exit 4B GSP Wildwood Jesus

Wildwood, NJ. This once tacky town of 1950’s style budget hotels is now considered a hot destination and those Hawaiian themed budget rest stops now stand homage to doo-wop retro-chic. The 39 block boardwalk boasts more rides than Disney Land. And of all things, Rock ‘n Roll was birthed right here when Bill Haley and His Comets belted out "Rock Around the Clock" for the very first time in 1954 at he HofBrau Hotel.

Being a shore town, there are lots, and lots of T-shirt shops all promoting the best of all things Jersey:

Undaunted by the new debauchery of Rock music, the local Presbyterians opened The Boardwalk Chapel, known as "Salvation by the Sea." The church's hand-drawn logo depicts the Christian cross rising out of an Atlantic Ocean wave.

Currently wedged between a pizzeria and a tattoo parlor, this place holds worship services 77 consecutive days each summer. I’m not quite sure what kind of impact the place has for Christ in the community but it has made an impact on those T-shirt shops. Just look what you can buy now:




Mark 4 : Jesus began to teach ... while all the people were along the shore at the water's edge.

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus

Montclair NJ, a wonderful place to live and dine where every other home has a lawn placard for Obama-Biden.  In this ultra liberal tree-lined town, one wouldn’t expect Jesus to be a big seller on….Halloween.  Guess again. 

 A stop in the local Pharmacy on Grove Street one could find Jesus hair and beard in Grey, White and Blonde.   Take your pick.  This town does pride itself on diversity. I couldn’t figure out though why the description as a Jesus beard was only written in Spanish.  Talk about target marketing. 

 

Just when I was pleasantly surprise to find an incarnation of Jesus here (more so than in some of the local churches), a few counters away were some disturbing little Halloween statues.  Is that a little goblin trying to constrain the cross in a glass dome?   What are those skulls and why are they near a glass domed cross?  (Footnote:  it didn’t snow when I shook the globe).   I asked the sales clerk but he just shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s Halloween, ya know.”  

Mark 15:22

They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull).

Exit 9 NJTurnpike - South River Jesus

Since 1683, this town has been named South River Landing, Willettstown, Washington, Washington Village, Washington Woods, Little Washington and finally in 1897 everyone agreed on South River. All the name changes will make your head spin and probably accounts for the name not appearing on the Exit 9 sign.

Also head spinning is the dual portrait of Jesus here. At one end of the spectrum is the Jesus at the center of St. Mary of Ostrabrama Roman Catholic Church. Surrounded by majestic angels, he holds up the written word evoking the words of John 1:1.

In sharp contrast, South River also gives rise (or perhaps fall) to Jesus Bomb, the punk band. Vocalist Danny credits Pope John Paul as a musical influence and states: "god is dead, lies in truth are in my head..." His goal is to play CBGB. Truth is CBGB is closed and worshipers still gather at St. Mary of Osbrabrama Roman Catholic Church.

John 1
The Word Became Flesh:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.


St. Mary’s interior photo courtesy of Oleg Shpak from http://www.niteart.com/

Slip 5 New York Waterway - New York City Jesus

Yes, New York City is not part of New Jersey, though West New York and Ellis Island are. Jersey is considered New York’s 6th borough so I’ll stretch the point and include the Broadway Blessing here.

Every Fall, Broadway pauses and asks the almighty for blessings on the coming season. Held at the world’s largest (and yet to be completed) gothic cathedral, St. John the Divine, this world’s largest gothic cathedral was missing one thing: an operating restroom. Those B’way performers really know how to hold a note along with their bowels.

The prelude began with the mighty church organ belting out, "Everything’s Coming Up Roses" from "Gypsy" followed by, "There’s No Business Like Show Business" from "Annie Get Your Gun". I wanted to head for the restroom to barf but there was no restroom in the world’s largest gothic cathedral.

One would have thought the prelude would have included, "Phantom of the Opera," since it was going this route…and I could have sworn one of the angels on the pillars began to plead, "Please stop this now." -photo-

A dance troupe performed to, "How Great Thou Art." I was beginning to feel God’s presence through Jesus. I turned around and there in the center of the largest stained glass window in America was Jesus.

Adam Jacobs sang, "Nothing there to Love" from the upcoming, "Amazing Grace: The True Story" and I began to notice feel more of Jesus’ influence both in song and statue.

Jerry Curry ended the Broadway Blessing with, "I’ll Walk with God," from "The Student Prince" and the event was engulfed with the almighty.

Ezekiel 34:  "I will bless them...I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing."

Exit 8 NJ Turnpike - East Windsor Jesus

Carol Erickson EAST WINDSOR, N.J. (CBS 3) ― From the outside, an East Windsor home, situated on a wooded lot across the street from a church, looks like a typical New Jersey house. 

Married couple, Jerry and Wendy Divock, said everything was normal until something unique happened. 

An animated virtual spokesperson from the couple's Web site explains:

"Something very unique and spiritual happened in their home in New Jersey."

Ten years ago Wendy felt a soft touch on her cheek. 

"I turned to see if it was my husband, but it wasn't and then looked and I saw this guy," Wendy said. 

The "guy in the door," as they once referred to the image on the door, bares a striking resemblance to Jesus, as artists have depicted him through the ages.

After consulting with the Pentecostal Pastor in the church across the street from their home, Jerry said they learned the image is, "Very significant and that it's authentic."

The couple decided to reveal their Jesus-like image to world and face the skeptics.

"It's not like this is a grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary on it," said Jerry.

"It's real. It's no phony bologna crap," insists Wendy.

The other door in the home that is now receiving a lot of attention is the ever-revolving front door, bringing the faithful and curious alike who have to see it, to believe it.

http://www.jesusinthedoor.com/

John 10:  “I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved…”

Publish Post

Exit 159 GS Parkway - Saddle Brook Jesus

Except for the occasional flood, not much ever happened in Saddle Brook since it was inhabited in 1716. All that changed when in late 2004 Gary Brolsma sat at his PC in his bedroom to lip-sinc the first Numa Numa video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o

800 million views later, we have:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7si10ipel0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ysz8HqoE-k&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1M-sWWonjo&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXleQldbFFE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOor0OLIbFc&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAfPzUy8Gz0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3med-8reH8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puVmKfCwb4M&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHJjY0Lj1oA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKcm8oPqs4k&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5FXD56LGnY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pHShKhCnjY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwGCaxJP5AI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aMaAM_B37s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_pMN-R2IGQ&feature=related

In addition to one very addicting video, Saddle Brook is home to one of the few Walmarts in North Jersey. This retailer caused quite a stir last Christmas as it offered Christian toys during the holiday season. Well here in Saddle Brook, this Walmart has been quietly selling Jesus candles since, well, forever. For less than a cup of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, the light can shine through the Sacred Heart of Jesus candle and the Jesus Crucifixion candle. For twenty cents less than Jesus, one can pick up the Lady of Guadeloupe.

I wonder if Margaret Mary Alaoque could have ever imagined that the vision of Jesus she saw in 1671 would be retailing for $1.55?

"I could plainly see His heart, pierced and bleeding, yet there were flames, too, coming from it and a crown of thorns around it. He told me to behold His heart which so loved humanity. Then He seemed to take my very heart from me and place it there in His heart. In return He gave me back part of His flaming heart."

Beautiful words, really. I would have never thought to literally paint the exact picture and put it on a candle and sell it a Walmart but hey.

John 3:"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son …..whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

Exit 15W NJ Turnpike - Kearny Jesus

In 1668, it was known as "New Barbadoes." A few centuries later the town leaders realized "this place looks nothing like Barbadoes" and renamed it after the local Civil War hero, General Philip Kearny. Dubbed, "Soccer Town," Kearny is best known for what is now gone.

Satriale's Meat Shop*-gone.

Scottish Pipers-gone.
Western Electric-gone.
Bunny Land Zoo-gone.
Schuyler Mansion-gone.
West Hudson Hospital-gone.

The orphanages: St. Anthony’s, Sacred Heart and Boystown-gone.

St. Anthony’s is now a Montessori School. Scared Heart is now apartments and houses. Boystown is primarily houses with a church and Catholic service center. Boystown, however, still has its Jesus sculptures along Belgrove Avenue for all to see. There’s the larger-than-life Sacred Heart of Jesus and huge crucifix reminding the locals that he loves them and died for them.

Cultural and economic changes account for the disappearances of many things in this town -except for the orphanages. They can be attributed to one thing: Rowe vs. Wade.

I wonder if Rowe vs. Wade  is overturned, will Christians be prepared rise to their calling to care for the children? Sadly, I’m not so sure.

Matthew 18 :In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

*Satriale's pork store photo used by permission, ::: Luca Brasi :::