Saturday, May 30, 2009

Exit 26 Route 80 Long Valley Jesus

Long Valley was known since colonial times as German Valley, but then along came WWI and the townsfolk just had to separate themselves from anything Germanic. The most famous place in the valley is still the German, I mean, Long Valley Pub & Brewery whose website proudly proclaims, "We are kid friendly!"

I can hear those parents now, Hey kids, drink up, it’s happy hour. And those kids, We never want Chuck E. Cheese again! Good thing Jesus's first miracle occured during a wedding, not a birthday party.

Nestled on a hilltop overlooking the valley is St. Luke’s Parish and the parish loves the local children and they want their kids to know Jesus loves them too. Sculputre Tom White created a garden of bronze just outside the parish’s front door. You can find his story here:

He ends his website with:

John 12:32 "And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me." His bronze Jesus certainly appears to be coming straight out of the earth with arms stretched wide.

Luke 18:
People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them.

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Exit 105 Long Branch Jesus

Long Branch became the nations first seaside resort way back in the 1700s and was the original Hollywood, that is until the other Hollywood on the West Coast took the movie industry by storm.

Popular with dead presidents: Chester A. Arthur, James A. Garfield, Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Harrison, Rutherford B. Hayes, William McKinley, and Woodrow Wilson, the city has brushed off it "old" image and now attracts an affluent set of folk.

Who would have thought a drive down the Garden State Parkway to beautiful-and now very trendy-Long Branch would bring out so many Jesus inspired car stickers? My trek began in the parking lot at Kohl’s where low and behold adjacent cars had the following stickers:

And as I pulled out of the lot, the car ahead of me had a NJ plate which read, "JC Lord" but I couldn’t whip out my camera in time to take the shot.

Arriving at Pier Village, to my delight there was street parking and oh lookie, lots of Jesus bumper stickers too!

After strolling the promenade and window shopping all the chic bar-restaurants, I treated myself to a gelato, imagining I was in Venice. But alias, no trip to Long Branch would be complete without a stop at Max’s – which serves up the dangest, biggest hot dogs on the planet. I pulled into Max’s lot and glory be…more Jesus bumper stickers than you’d find in the SixFlags parking lot for a Toby Mac concert!

Then it was time to head back North, where yes, I was indeed cut off several times by some crazy New York drivers who obviously didn't understand the concept of turn signals. After a few miles, I thought I found my soul mate:

After several thoughts of giving the NJ one-figure-salute to the last jerk who cut me off, a car pulled up to me with this in the side window:

I took the hint and kept both hands on the steering wheel.

Proverbs 10: A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.


Sunday, May 3, 2009

Exit 4 Cherry Hill Jesus

When the fine residents of Delaware NJ lobbied the US Postal Service for their own Post Office, much to their dismay, they were informed that Delaware NJ was already taken. So they held a town meeting, changed the town’s name to Cherry Hill and for their efforts, they received a Post Office.

One other oddity: in the cult film, "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle," Harold and Kumar’s final destination is the White Castle in Cherry Hill. Only problem is, there is no White Castle in Cherry Hill.

While waiting for Dawn to cut my hair at SuperCuts, I picked up the Was-at-one-Time-Trendy magazine, DETAILS. My have the mighty have fallen. The lead articles highlighted on the cover included: The Best Dive Bars in America, The Curious Case of the Gay-Porn-Star Identical Twins, The New Rules of Khaki and finally, Don’t be a Goatee Guy. I don’t think Jeopardy will be using DETAILS as a source any time soon. But then something caught my eye:

Since my real-life job is on the line, I do need to know How Jesus Can Save MY Career. A quick glance up at Dawn (still cutting someone’s bob) and a flip to page 117 where I read that the Society for Human Resource Management claims that 48% of job seekers use house of worship to help them in their job hunt and 24% of HR professionals recruit at churches, huh….must I must be attending the wrong church.

Now these are hard economic times, no doubt. I looked up and a mug on the receptionist’s counter caught my eye. There was a pic of Jesus... coupons in one hand, scissors in the other.

You know I had to just turn that mug around to find:

When I got back home, I logged on to write this post and found this kind of cool link. You should check it out:

Acts 4:12
Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."