Exit 105 Long Branch Jesus

Long Branch became the nations first seaside resort way back in the 1700s and was the original Hollywood, that is until the other Hollywood on the West Coast took the movie industry by storm.

Popular with dead presidents: Chester A. Arthur, James A. Garfield, Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Harrison, Rutherford B. Hayes, William McKinley, and Woodrow Wilson, the city has brushed off it "old" image and now attracts an affluent set of folk.

Who would have thought a drive down the Garden State Parkway to beautiful-and now very trendy-Long Branch would bring out so many Jesus inspired car stickers? My trek began in the parking lot at Kohl’s where low and behold adjacent cars had the following stickers:

And as I pulled out of the lot, the car ahead of me had a NJ plate which read, "JC Lord" but I couldn’t whip out my camera in time to take the shot.

Arriving at Pier Village, to my delight there was street parking and oh lookie, lots of Jesus bumper stickers too!


After strolling the promenade and window shopping all the chic bar-restaurants, I treated myself to a gelato, imagining I was in Venice. But alias, no trip to Long Branch would be complete without a stop at Max’s – which serves up the dangest, biggest hot dogs on the planet. I pulled into Max’s lot and glory be…more Jesus bumper stickers than you’d find in the SixFlags parking lot for a Toby Mac concert!

Then it was time to head back North, where yes, I was indeed cut off several times by some crazy New York drivers who obviously didn't understand the concept of turn signals. After a few miles, I thought I found my soul mate:




After several thoughts of giving the NJ one-figure-salute to the last jerk who cut me off, a car pulled up to me with this in the side window:

I took the hint and kept both hands on the steering wheel.

Proverbs 10: A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.

　

Exit 136 GSP Linden Jesus

With its many refining facilities supplying over 230,000 barrels of petroleum-based products, you smell Linden, long before you get there. Perhaps someone at the local government was sniffing much too much of the petrol at Christmas.

To the city’s credit, there is a Nativity scene built on the front lawn of City Hall. The wise men at the city government decided that the manger would lay empty without the Christ child until December 25th when the baby would miraculously appear.

Only problem was that December 25th came and went without Jesus in the manger. The other Wisemen, Mary & Joseph along with a few sheep and cows starred at an empty troth.

But then the Christmas miracle happened, albeit a day late. Baby Jesus, wearing a blue-painted blanket was spotted in the crib next to the Hanukkah menorah. The mayor explained, "It was an embarrassing oversight." Residents complained that the city has no problem remembering when tax bills are due but can’t seem to remember when Christ was born.

II Peter: So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.

Eixt 148 GSP Bloomfield Jesus

The residents of Bloomfield give Staten Island a run for their money having the most Guidos per square mile. But alias, the town’s not all gold chains and wife-beater Tees.

After all, William Batchelder Bradbury is buried here. Who you ask? Well, every Sunday School student knows his biggest hit, Jesus Loves Me and folks still walk down the isle over at Brookdale Baptist Church to his other song, Just as I Am.

I wonder what William would think of the state of home Christmas decorations in town nowadays. On the positive side, just driving one mile in town I counted 15 front lawn Nativity scenes. But gone are the plastic-GE-lit manger scenes, replaced by inflatable, blow-up types. At first, I thought I spotted a wayward Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon that crash-landed at East Passaic Ave. But the more I drove, the more I spotted.

While I’m not into inflatable Wisemen, Mary or Joseph, at least thieves can’t just pick up baby Jesus and run. It’s all or nothing, and it’s pretty hard to go unnoticed stealing a 15 ft. blow-up manger.

But the inflatables do have one major flaw. They deflate with major temperature changes and strong gusts of wind and just wither away; not very sustaining.

Luke 8:6 Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture.

Exit 4B GSP Wildwood Jesus

Wildwood, NJ. This once tacky town of 1950’s style budget hotels is now considered a hot destination and those Hawaiian themed budget rest stops now stand homage to doo-wop retro-chic. The 39 block boardwalk boasts more rides than Disney Land. And of all things, Rock ‘n Roll was birthed right here when Bill Haley and His Comets belted out "Rock Around the Clock" for the very first time in 1954 at he HofBrau Hotel.

Being a shore town, there are lots, and lots of T-shirt shops all promoting the best of all things Jersey:

Undaunted by the new debauchery of Rock music, the local Presbyterians opened The Boardwalk Chapel, known as "Salvation by the Sea." The church's hand-drawn logo depicts the Christian cross rising out of an Atlantic Ocean wave.

Currently wedged between a pizzeria and a tattoo parlor, this place holds worship services 77 consecutive days each summer. I’m not quite sure what kind of impact the place has for Christ in the community but it has made an impact on those T-shirt shops. Just look what you can buy now:




Mark 4 : Jesus began to teach ... while all the people were along the shore at the water's edge.