Sunday, March 29, 2009

Exit 1 Miami Jesus

I realize Miami is not in New Jersey but I’m here at the week-long Miami Music Festival so there.

This non-stop international DJ fest is the last place I would expect to find Jesus but hey, he always does show up in the most unlikely of places.

As I scoped the uber-trendy rooftop party at the ultra-cool Ganvesort South…it was the usual seen and be seen scene. Mr. DJ was doing his thing and then I heard it: (thump, thump, thump) For Father, Son and Holy Ghost (thump, thump, thump) For Father, Son and Holy Ghost…What do you know? The Trinity was in the house!

Then it was off to downtown for the White Room party. As the cab pulled off Exit 1, I felt right at home. There, DJ Roy Davis Jr. was spinning, To my God who was Crucified, and I was starting to believe in the whole God is a DJ thing.

Next on the turntables (well, they use computers these days) was Todd Edwards spinning, Face to Face. The musical encounter of his meeting, well, who else? Jesus.

I guess all the religion was a bit much for the Miami police as they pulled the plug (literally) at 3:30am for a local noise violation.

Luke 19:40
"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Exit 0 Manhattan Jesus

 A friend recently told me that a famous Christian preacher is prophesizing that God will inflict fires on Manhattan to destroy the island because of its sin.  Oh, really?  

As I walked along East 15th Street, what I saw literally stopped me in my tracks.  Drum roll from heaven please…The Trinity Broadcasting Network.  Dang!  Right here on East 15th.  Who would have thunked it?  Surely God wouldn’t burn down Manhattan where his own TV network films.   Then again, the film crew could be the first on the scene to witness the event…never mind. 

Directly across the street was a theater housing the play, This Beautiful City.  Of all things it’s a musical about the Christianization of Colorado Springs.  Off B’way ain’t what it used to be.  Surely those divine flames would spare this venue.

Now that got me thinking of this beautiful city whose streets I roamed.

Let’s see now, Times Square Church actually began the revival of 42nd Street long before the Disney invasion.  The street that once housed over 50 Triple X theaters- the only nakedness there now is the Naked Cowboy (who actually isn’t even naked) Oh yeah, TSC reached so many Manhattanites for Christ that it had to relocate to bigger digs a few blocks uptown.

Redeemer Presbyterian Church, which began as a small group of believers to reach the city for Christ, now has so many Manhattan locations you literally need a subway map to locate them all. 

There are more Christian and secular organizations and groups who serve the poor and needy, sick and elderly here than any other city.

Ezekiel 16:49
Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.


Saturday, March 14, 2009

Exit 8 NJTP Freehold Jesus

New Jersey may be the only state in the Union without an official State Anthem, but anyone who lives here knows we were all Born to Run (nothing says I love NJ better than a song about fleeing the state). And that brings us to Freehold Borough, home to The Boss: Bruce Springsteen, not to be confused with Freehold Township, home to Kal Penn of Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle fame.

The Boss immortalized this town forever with the song, My Hometown from his Born in the USA album but the hometown fav actually is his rendition of Jersey Girl (big hair and all). But alas, there still room for a bit of Jesus in this Central Jersey town, and this Jesus gets bigger over time with a little H2O.

There’s a company in Freehold, which markets the "Grow Your Own Jesus" with the tag, "because he’s awesome!" We all know Jesus famously walked on water, but this mini-Jesus needs to be put in a glass of water to grow (for 10 days, to be exact). This made-in-China "toy" comes with a choking hazard warning along with a "bonus mini bible". For real.

As Christians stateside smuggle the Holy Scriptures into China, the Chinese seem to have no problem shrinking it down and exporting it back into the global economy. Though this version has a picture of the Garden of Eden smack in between I & II Corinthians, nonetheless, passages from all 66 books of the bible are well represented in the proper order.

The back packaging of this product even comes with this note: If you pray this prayer of salvation with true conviction and heart, you are now a follower of Jesus and have entered the family of God. It is then followed by the "Sinner’s Prayer" – word for word.

Matthew 1:21 from the mini-bible: "Thou shalt call his name JESUS for he shall save his people from their sins."

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus Pt 4

Funny thing, there seems to be more Jesus products at Urban Outfitters in Montclair than at the Jesus Bookstore in Edison. Go figure. And though the Pocket Jesus retails for $6.00, it rang up 99 cents. Oh happy day.

One side of the Pocket Jesus box has a kinda cool Jesus pic looking all masculine in a stained-glass kind of way. “Put a little faith in your pocket with Jesus,” reads another side. Then I hit pay-dirt “Bonus: Inspirational Quote” and “Bonus Bumper Sticker” included. And just think, all for less than a dollar. This is better than a value meal at Mickey Ds!

Take a look at the bonus bumper sticker:

Way too cool.

This is going straight to my Jeep. And the best was the Inspirational Quote:

I am the Way, Truth and Life.

Now I don't have to look for a verse for the post!