Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus Pt 4

Funny thing, there seems to be more Jesus products at Urban Outfitters in Montclair than at the Jesus Bookstore in Edison. Go figure. And though the Pocket Jesus retails for $6.00, it rang up 99 cents. Oh happy day.

One side of the Pocket Jesus box has a kinda cool Jesus pic looking all masculine in a stained-glass kind of way. “Put a little faith in your pocket with Jesus,” reads another side. Then I hit pay-dirt “Bonus: Inspirational Quote” and “Bonus Bumper Sticker” included. And just think, all for less than a dollar. This is better than a value meal at Mickey Ds!

Take a look at the bonus bumper sticker:

Way too cool.

This is going straight to my Jeep. And the best was the Inspirational Quote:

I am the Way, Truth and Life.

Now I don't have to look for a verse for the post!

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus Pt 3

Any excuse to check out the coolness of Urban Outfitters is just fine with me, so when Pastor John e-mailed me inquiring about the Band-Aid Jesus, I just had to go there to pick him up a box. Good thing I went when I did, Band-Aid Jesus was almost sold-out!

Pastor John will be receiving the last box.

I grabbed that box and made a mad dash for the register. I was greeted by a heavily facial-pierced 20-something who tried in vain to ring it up. "Sir, I’m sorry, the register is having problems with Jesus today, the Jesus is showing an error." "That’s fine, I can wait" I said, and that’s when it caught my eye. Off in the distance I spotted a bowl filled with "Pocket Calming Buddha’s" but my Jesus-sense told me there just had to be a "Pocket Jesus" somewhere in that bowl. I lunged for the bowl and my eyes beheld one solitary, Pocket Jesus Heals. I guess the trendy people of Montclair would rather having a healing Jesus in their pocket than a calming Buddha. Well, frankly, so do I.

Back to the cashier chick: "I can’t ring the band-aids under ‘Jesus’, I can only ring it up under "the humping bunny band-aid". I can’t make this stuff up. "But I’m buying the band-aids for Pastor John," I replied. "Do you think this will be a problem?" she asked. "Nah, you know God talks much for about sex in the Bible than eternal damnation," I responded. She looked up with all her piercings and said, "Huh." "It’s all in the good book, you should read it sometime," and I left Urban Outfitters.

Matthew 22:29

Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God."

Next week: the wonders packed into the little Pocket Jesus box. Hint: Little does Urban Outfitters know - they really know how to spread The Word.

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus

Montclair NJ, a wonderful place to live and dine where every other home has a lawn placard for Obama-Biden.  In this ultra liberal tree-lined town, one wouldn’t expect Jesus to be a big seller on….Halloween.  Guess again. 

 A stop in the local Pharmacy on Grove Street one could find Jesus hair and beard in Grey, White and Blonde.   Take your pick.  This town does pride itself on diversity. I couldn’t figure out though why the description as a Jesus beard was only written in Spanish.  Talk about target marketing. 

 

Just when I was pleasantly surprise to find an incarnation of Jesus here (more so than in some of the local churches), a few counters away were some disturbing little Halloween statues.  Is that a little goblin trying to constrain the cross in a glass dome?   What are those skulls and why are they near a glass domed cross?  (Footnote:  it didn’t snow when I shook the globe).   I asked the sales clerk but he just shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s Halloween, ya know.”  

Mark 15:22

They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull).