Saturday, February 28, 2009

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus Pt 3

Any excuse to check out the coolness of Urban Outfitters is just fine with me, so when Pastor John e-mailed me inquiring about the Band-Aid Jesus, I just had to go there to pick him up a box. Good thing I went when I did, Band-Aid Jesus was almost sold-out!

Pastor John will be receiving the last box.

I grabbed that box and made a mad dash for the register. I was greeted by a heavily facial-pierced 20-something who tried in vain to ring it up. "Sir, I’m sorry, the register is having problems with Jesus today, the Jesus is showing an error." "That’s fine, I can wait" I said, and that’s when it caught my eye. Off in the distance I spotted a bowl filled with "Pocket Calming Buddha’s" but my Jesus-sense told me there just had to be a "Pocket Jesus" somewhere in that bowl. I lunged for the bowl and my eyes beheld one solitary, Pocket Jesus Heals. I guess the trendy people of Montclair would rather having a healing Jesus in their pocket than a calming Buddha. Well, frankly, so do I.

Back to the cashier chick: "I can’t ring the band-aids under ‘Jesus’, I can only ring it up under "the humping bunny band-aid". I can’t make this stuff up. "But I’m buying the band-aids for Pastor John," I replied. "Do you think this will be a problem?" she asked. "Nah, you know God talks much for about sex in the Bible than eternal damnation," I responded. She looked up with all her piercings and said, "Huh." "It’s all in the good book, you should read it sometime," and I left Urban Outfitters.

Matthew 22:29

Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God."

Next week: the wonders packed into the little Pocket Jesus box. Hint: Little does Urban Outfitters know - they really know how to spread The Word.


Gigi said...

Oh. My. Goodness. They can't ring up Jesus...Jesus is showing an error...

You're right - no WAY could you make this stuff up!!

Eagerly awaiting the Pocket Jesus Heals post...

Pastor John said...

That story was way cool. Great humor for the day. We had great fun in church the night I pulled out the Jesus Band aids. I know fun in church during a sermon, God will have to make special allowances for me to make heaven now. :)