Sunday, February 22, 2009

Exit 2 NJTP Elmer Jesus

Last night I watched the horror flick, Wrong Turn. It’s your typical adolescent-lost-in-the-woods-they-all-die (except for one) B movie. Today I took that wrong turn and ended up in Elmer. I came across this road sign and knew I was in trouble.

Now I’ve lived in this beloved state for almost half a century and I’ve never heard of any place called, Elmer. I did spot a diner, so I knew I was still in Jersey. [Not that I was going to stop in for a cup of Joe].

If you look up the term, "Jersey Redneck" in the Urban Dictionary, this is what you’ll find:

Jersey rednecks typically dwell in backwoods areas within Philadelphian suburbs, where there is still plenty of rural land for the blue-collar folk. Almost every Jersey redneck owns a Chevy pickup truck, which they park in their "driveway", which is not really a driveway but an area of their lawn in which grass isn't growing. Their front yards are home to various appliances and vehicles that no longer function, somehow finding their way there. The origins of their slow southern accent is mysterious, though speculation reveals that it is probably from listening to too much Lynyrd Skynyrd. No one thought hicks lived so far north until the Jersey redneck was discovered.

The Urban Dictionary ends with these ominous words, "There are more Jersey Rednecks than you once believed!" I’m thinking, "Help me Jesus."

Then to my surprise, there he was, well, sort of. It wasn’t a Chevy pickup but it had Redneck written all over it. But at least the vehicle owners sure loved Jesus – even if they had a strange way of showing it.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. Elmer Diner Photo Credit


NewJerseyJesus said...

OK, my mom has informed me that there are 1,000 fine residents of Elmer NJ who attend the 4 churches located in their small town, so I apologize with the "redneck-thing". But there is still a question of that strange shop with the leg eating chick.

Gigi said...

Uh Moms do keep tabs on our children - no matter HOW old they get!!

So, what's the deal with the sign? What business is THAT for? Stay far, far away - whatever it is!

Have a blessed weekend NJJ!