Exit 2 West Side Hwy Fringe Jesus

When my theater critic friend called wondering if I was interested in attending any of the FRINGE NYC theater productions, I jumped at the chance to be cool once more and I lit up the mood speakers in my Kia Soul ! and headed to the city.

I felt God smiling on me as he provided free parking and what do you know – right in front of St Anthony Padula, the official NYC patron saint of parking. Oh glorious day.

Tucked between SoHo and The Village, I was happy to find that Sullivan Street still hadn’t succumbed to corporate America as there wasn’t a Starbucks in sight. Instead there were three coffee shops all within a half block radius: Local, Once Upon a Tart and The Jean Claude Café. I chose my fair trade java at Local. After all, Grub Street NY reviewed, "Even people with hairy, unattractive babies can enjoy Local." So Local won out over Once Upon a Tart though O.U.T. had some really cool miniature Eiffel Towers on display. I think they were mocking Jean Claude but I couldn’t be sure.

As I made my way to the theater, I found this postcard: I just knew things were going to be all right. And showing at the theater? Billed as 100 years of Hollywood and 33 films starring Jesus…."Jesus Ride".



The first few minutes were promising enough with informative snippets from a variety of films ranging from The Greatest Story Ever Told to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter to The Passion. Then the actor/playwright spent the next hour or so 1) bashing The Trinity Broadcasting Network, 2)portraying Christians as people who believe Jews are bad because Jews killed Jesus and 3) moaned and moaned about working for a Christian director/dictator from TBN. Gosh, if I wanted to hear someone complain for an hour, I could have just gone to my day job.

Numbers 11:1Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the LORD, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the LORD burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp.

Exit 2 NJTP Elmer Jesus

Last night I watched the horror flick, Wrong Turn. It’s your typical adolescent-lost-in-the-woods-they-all-die (except for one) B movie. Today I took that wrong turn and ended up in Elmer. I came across this road sign and knew I was in trouble.

Now I’ve lived in this beloved state for almost half a century and I’ve never heard of any place called, Elmer. I did spot a diner, so I knew I was still in Jersey. [Not that I was going to stop in for a cup of Joe].

If you look up the term, "Jersey Redneck" in the Urban Dictionary, this is what you’ll find:

Jersey rednecks typically dwell in backwoods areas within Philadelphian suburbs, where there is still plenty of rural land for the blue-collar folk. Almost every Jersey redneck owns a Chevy pickup truck, which they park in their "driveway", which is not really a driveway but an area of their lawn in which grass isn't growing. Their front yards are home to various appliances and vehicles that no longer function, somehow finding their way there. The origins of their slow southern accent is mysterious, though speculation reveals that it is probably from listening to too much Lynyrd Skynyrd. No one thought hicks lived so far north until the Jersey redneck was discovered.

The Urban Dictionary ends with these ominous words, "There are more Jersey Rednecks than you once believed!" I’m thinking, "Help me Jesus."

Then to my surprise, there he was, well, sort of. It wasn’t a Chevy pickup but it had Redneck written all over it. But at least the vehicle owners sure loved Jesus – even if they had a strange way of showing it.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thejerseytomato/ Elmer Diner Photo Credit