Exit 13B Tromaville Jesus

As the web site for Toxic Avenger the Musical, states: Tromaville is one exit you don’t want to take off the New Jersey Turnpike.

The opening song goes like this:

There’s a place between heaven and hell

Don’t need a map, just follow the smell

A place filled with filthy air

A place full of dark despair

A place you have no prayer

A place called, New Jersey, the Garden State.

Who will save New Jersey?

We’re dying for some air

There’s no hope in New Jersey

Does anybody care?

Lord, we need a favor

We need a sappy Savior

But who? Who?

Hard to believe, but some of the plot may have been plucked right out of the Good Book.

A humble, mild-mannered Melvin tries to pour a little love on the town of Tromaville. He attempts to show people the way but the town’s dastardly Mayor -her big song is "Evil is Hot"- along with the Establishment want none of it and condemn this innocent man to a toxic death. Left for dead, he rises from the toxic sludge with a higher purpose and little green tinting with an eye that can’t seem to stay in its socket. He’s not a pretty sight but in the end his message of love endures; he saves the earth for all of mankind.

Isaiah 53:He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.

　

Exit 2 NJTP Elmer Jesus

Last night I watched the horror flick, Wrong Turn. It’s your typical adolescent-lost-in-the-woods-they-all-die (except for one) B movie. Today I took that wrong turn and ended up in Elmer. I came across this road sign and knew I was in trouble.

Now I’ve lived in this beloved state for almost half a century and I’ve never heard of any place called, Elmer. I did spot a diner, so I knew I was still in Jersey. [Not that I was going to stop in for a cup of Joe].

If you look up the term, "Jersey Redneck" in the Urban Dictionary, this is what you’ll find:

Jersey rednecks typically dwell in backwoods areas within Philadelphian suburbs, where there is still plenty of rural land for the blue-collar folk. Almost every Jersey redneck owns a Chevy pickup truck, which they park in their "driveway", which is not really a driveway but an area of their lawn in which grass isn't growing. Their front yards are home to various appliances and vehicles that no longer function, somehow finding their way there. The origins of their slow southern accent is mysterious, though speculation reveals that it is probably from listening to too much Lynyrd Skynyrd. No one thought hicks lived so far north until the Jersey redneck was discovered.

The Urban Dictionary ends with these ominous words, "There are more Jersey Rednecks than you once believed!" I’m thinking, "Help me Jesus."

Then to my surprise, there he was, well, sort of. It wasn’t a Chevy pickup but it had Redneck written all over it. But at least the vehicle owners sure loved Jesus – even if they had a strange way of showing it.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thejerseytomato/ Elmer Diner Photo Credit

Exit 5 NJT Burlington Jesus

Burlington, NJ: What 'Wood' Jesus Do?

Robin Rieger BENSALEM, Pa. (CBS 3) ―

A Bucks County woodworker said he found Jesus in a tree stump and some are calling the find a piece of "divine pine."

Next time you take a good look at a tree, you might wonder if it is harboring a divine message from the heavens.

Protectively wrapped in a piece of ostrich leather is what Bensalem's Craig O'Connor calls a slab of a New Jersey pine tree he cut down in a friend's Burlington yard in January 2007.

The image he saw in the remaining stump stopped him in his tracks.
"When I seen it, I was just in awe, I think it's Jesus, Jesus' head … it looks like he is ascending into heaven," O'Connor said.

O'Connor is a woodworker who makes unique table tops from trees, but he said the image is over the top.

"The halo is the center of the tree," O'Connor said.

Some people say timing is everything and Craig said he was destined to find the slab when he did. If the tree had continued to grow, the image would have spread and disappeared.

The question now is what to do with the unusual discovery.

"I put it on eBay, I got a $500 hit right away, but I took it right off," O'Connor said.
Craig said as a catholic, he feels a little guilty for wanting to sell it for more money, but he thinks it's very valuable.

"One hundred grand, they got $28,000 for a grilled cheese sandwich," O'Connor said. "One hundred grand for a piece of beautiful New Jersey pine with a picture of Jesus Christ ascending to heaven."

Mark 15:24 And they crucified him. Dividing up his clothes, they cast lots to see what each would get.